From self-pity to self-sufficiency

It’s easy to adapt the victim mentality when you feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities of lone parenting, and it may seem like a dark and dreadful journey, but single parenting does get better.

Change is good. Spring is a good time to change old habits, rekindle your spirit, recharge your energy, discover your potential and reclaim your power.

Here are some of the ways you can begin to rebuild your life and really enjoy a new beginning:

  • Take charge of your finances. Don’t rely on your monthly maintenance support to get you through your bills. Learn to budget your expenses. It’s a skill you can develop with the help of financial planners. If you are deep in debt, consider getting some credit counseling to improve your financial situation.
  • Learn to live within your means. With a single income, it may be difficult to maintain the lifestyle you once enjoyed with the combined disposable income of two. Keep the finances in line and buy only what you can afford. Try to pay cash and reduce the tendency to rely on credit. Changing the pattern may be tough but it will prevent you from digging yourself in a hole.
  • Get a job or go to school. If you are having a tough time securing a job or even getting any interest from prospective employers, consider upgrading your skills and education. There’s tough competition out there and the only way to improve your standard of living is to get a better paying job.
  • Get a better paying job. If you are very marketable, look for other employment opportunities that may provide more competitive salaries and benefits. Hire an agent to help you scope new opportunities. They take commission from their client when you are placed. Agents will save you time and will negotiate a salary and position that’s right for you. It may be a scary venture but the risk can yield you better returns in the long run.
  • Develop your own family tradition. There may have been some family activities that you once enjoyed together, but developing your own special way to celebrate with the kids will provide the bonding opportunity and signify the start of a brand new life.
  • Strengthen your inner self. Find self-help classes in the community that focus on developing self esteem, personal problem resolution and building an emotional support network.
  • Learn to fulfill the role that is now vacant. If your former spouse was domestic oriented, take some classes in cooking or gardening etc. If your former spouse was mechanical, then learn to assemble, repair and / or construct. If you are a well rounded individual and shared all the tasks and domestic responsibilities, then you it won’t be a difficulty transition unless of course, you now have to do all the chores you disliked.
  • The road to complete independence begins by adopting a positive outlook in life and learning to love your situation. Live life with passion, find new opportunities, make a commitment to yourself to improve the quality of your life.

Embracing this attitude will liberate you from the personal imprisonment of self pity you may feel as a challenged parent and move you in the direction of complete independence and self sufficiency.

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